scream when you have to, to let go

Monday, June 30, 2008

22:22

):

i just read something. sarcastic or not?
gah, it rly sounds disgusting to me la.
i just try to do my best and make lessons interesting enough cos i know malay is potentially boring, but i dont know how man. honestly.
so please darling dearest whoever kind enough to enlighten me with what you think might be boring or interesting to do during malay lessons that you think will have an impact the student's malay language abilities.

sigh. a suggestion by a helpful student online was to do a drama.
GODDDDDDD. it's sounds so simple to do but so difficult to prepare. ive got to get resources, ideas and whatever else.

i'm sure it'll be fun la. i mean i've never done that in my whole entire life. so it'l be refreshing for me.

anyway, i realise, being in an elite school for years have made me feel like a total dork in front of all these students from neighbourhood schools (not that i am degrading them). i mean, i've been surrounded by studious students and competitive students and environment that requires us to excel academically and at the same time aesthetically. BUT, students from neighbourhood schools in a way gain so much more. maybe they are not all brains like nerds or what but they're really street smart and very observant of cultures and behaviours. they know stuff students from elite schools (or "budak baik" schools) are less knowledgable in. they are really open.

i mean come one, one look at me, you know i was that innocent kid who completes most of her work on time though i have the same grouses as every other student in the world. and when school is over it really means over - time to head home baby and watch tv a while then start homework. it just comes naturally like a routine. but others have a life. what life did i have?
just school and purely school.

and due to that, i feel like a total dork. i feel i cant connect with the kids im teaching very well. superficially, it looks ok, i understand how they feel and all (like a potentially boring malay lesson) but there's just something lacking. i have to adjust to their situations and it's hard for me cos my malay lessons have always been fun no matter what we do cos we have great friends sharing that boring/fun/disgusting moment with us..

thus, now, it's making me wonder, school cant be boring can it? and if you have your good friend(s) sitting next to you, my malay lesson cant be boring. i mean doing malay is like just another task to do while enjoying your friends' company.

OH GOD. it's hard.

i dunno. if only my relief students can read this and enlighten me with ideas and thoughts that'll channel through my head and improve their malay lives.
im sorry.

anyway, i actually came to blog about something else and i end up spending 20 min talking about something that came up moments ago.

lunched with faz at delifrance bistro tdy. KELAS! she was telling me stuff. hahahahahhahaha. and somehow, i cant wait for her to find a boyfriend or some guy she really really really really really likes. HAHAHHAHA. i can listen to all her stories! :D and her random thoughts. ((:

lols. and here, im emphasising once again that im NOT a minah and neither do i have "blood" with minah msia. PLEASE.

hakimah is in her own league. *shakes eyebrows*

goodnight guys.

p.s// ive yet to complete that dastard of a presentation and i just gotta prepare some broing lesson for tmr.
DEAR GOD, ENLIGHTEN ME COS ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THE WAY.

Friday, June 27, 2008

00:29

look at the time.
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?!

and so, another day in the life of (insert my full name here).
i finally met up with my dearest darling whom i havent seen in the longest longest time!
after schl, met up with her at far east and started shopping. didnt even eat or sit.
basically we shopped for 2.5 happy hours. total shopping though short.

the plan:
nurul to buy a heel and another black shoe.
dianah to buy a sneaker.

the outcome:
nurul bought one black shoe.
dianah bought one sneaker, one slipper and one shoe.

THAT'S T-H-R-E-E DIANAH! let's take them out of the cupboard slowly so that the governing body at home doesnt flare when they seem them.

HAHA. there was even the ZARA sale! so much for sales. still unaffordable for us rather-spend-money-on-food kids. so we left ZARA with "f***! you better not tell me you wanna try the top. look at the f***ing line!" there were at least 15-20 people in the queue for 5 fitting rooms. and tey're all holding more than 2 pieces of clothing.

conclusion: "SALE", KICK(S) SOME BUTT!
*note underlying meaning.

and relief teaching at peirce is ok i think. for now. but haha. how unsurprisingly, they take their own sweet time in the world to complete my homework.

but haha. eyecandy is still cute but no more eyecandy-ing.

DAVID DAVID DAVID DAVID cook is love.
and so is JUSTIN.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

17:09

ive been wanting to go out.

but i havent. either lazy or too lazy.
what the chickens. so much for wanting go out.

1. caspian.
2. sex and the city.
3. kung fu panda (again)
4. the love guru.
5. you dont mess with the zohan.

WOAH. that'll add up to $50+++

now i know why people need money. but i dont seem to want it so bad. HAHA.
what the hell, shut up.

i wanna drive to rail mall for coffee bean and chill. (: would wee hoe treat me again? HMMM.

shameless sia!

Monday, June 16, 2008

14:03

im home babes.

went to pulau pemanggil. amazing place i must say. there's so much to say actually but i'll just make it short and sweet. lanting beach resort is definitely a great hideaway from the technologies of life and stress. it was like a corner of the earth in the vast sea and there were no devices to connect yourself with the rest of the world (i mean the private world we live in). there was no tv, no radio, no phone (unless you have autoroam and keep on messaging or calling your friends, but that rly defeats the purpose) absolutely nothing. i even brought my mps3 along to keep me from boredom but i must say, nomatter how bored you think you are but you're actually not. it's very calming to hear the waves and listen to the wind. i culd sit there and do just that for days.

PERFECT STRESS RELIEVER.

here's a view from the stools outside the room.

there are seriously a lot more pictures. but i'm too lazy to upload it.

it's photos galore now.a couple of photos from escape trip with ama faz and laila, my chocolate coated strawberries, my lovely sugar cookies - iced and un-iced, wau competition (:

that's all girls! (:

see ya soon! (:

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

23:59

if i could use cards to represent problems.

i'd lay:
5 cards on the table for my dad.
and a few cards for the rest of the family.

i can feel the weight of his problems man. it's big time heavy. i feel so sad that my dad has a lot of problems while i was basically problem free only short term problems that arent possibly of any importance compared to his. sigh. i dont understand how life can be extremely difficult. ): but im pretty sure, god wouldnt put you through it if He didnt think you could make it. GOD'S FAIR after all. (:

i baked sugar cookies all by myself and they're REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD! :D

ohwells. i'd love to do delivery to some lovely friends but time forbids. im going holiday to some island in mersing, msia. so no time. i'll be back on sunday though (:

and i drove for the first time in my life, ALONE! woohoo! from thomson to home. (:

cool babe. i was driving safely cos it was like 7.30pm and many many cars around so max i went was 80km/h. and i parked the car so cool man. ok whatever.

and so i think i post up photos when i come back. for now, i just gotta go man.

and guess what i heard the boat trip from mersing is 4.5 hrs! OMG. im just gonna die la. i was more like wanting a genting holiday. oh well. i'll come back on sunday! loves!

here's a david cook to <3!

THERE IS ONE THING
FOR A MOMENT IN TIME
AND IT SEEMED EVERLASTING
THAT YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE MINE

NOW YOU WANNA BE FREE
AND SO IM LETTING YOU FLY
COS YOU KNOW IN MY HEART BABE
OUR LOVE WILL NEVER DIE
NO...

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME
I'M PART OF YOU INDEFINITELY
GIRL DONT YOU KNOW YOU CANT ESCAPE ME
OH DARLING COS YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY

AND WE LINGER ON
TIME CANT ERASE A FEELING THIS STRONG
NO WAY YOU NEVER GONNA SHAKE ME
OH DARLING COS YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY

I AINT GONNA CRY NO
NOW I BEG YOU TO STAY
IF YOU'RE DETERMINED TO LEAVE GIRL
I WILL NOT STAND IN YOUR WAY

BUT IF IT EVER BE
YOU'LL BE BACK AGAIN
COS YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART BABE
OUR LOVE WILL NEVER END

CHORUS.

I KNOW THAT YOU'LL BE BACK GIRL
WHEN YOUR DAYS AND YOUR NIGHT GET A LITTLE BIT COLDER
I KNOW THAT YOU'LL BE RIGHT BACK OH..
OH BABY BELIEVE ME IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

CHORUS.

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE..
OOH DARLING COS YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY..

ALWAYS BE MY BABY.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

20:32

i guess it wasnt just about getting the license.

before this, i was dying to get that license. now that i've gotten that oh-so-coveted license with my pretty photo on it, it's like, "ok i got the license alr. so?" that's a real turn off. learning to drive was much more fun. i honestly rather learn to drive NOW than to already KNOW how to drive.

i guess it's really in me. i like to LEARN. it's a great feeling to LEARN or STUDY or the likes. i can spend my life just studying, pursuing one degree and another and another and another. whatever, STUDYING GIVES ME THE VIBES AND I GET A KICK OUT OF IT. really.

all you non-school-loving people can curse me whatever. it's just my opinion.

and i saw this at bpp carpark tdy.

HAHAHA. you'll get a condom delivery if you sms some number. i took a photo with the licence plate of the van but i think i'll protect them. (though i think they'll be grateful for free advertisement. (: ) but do leave a message on my tagboard if you want their number. and im sorry, i just dont provide services. only to give their number. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

love!

Friday, June 06, 2008

09:20

YO.

i have been like MIA just cos i was busy busy busy studying for the dip. there's so many things to say!

k number one.
I PASSED PASSED PASSED MY TP! :D
so i can oficially drive around now. have yet to go for a spin but im shaking! esp the jaguar. the bmw, i drove it in msia alr. just around the carpark at some country club so shouldnt be too bad. but what are the odds i drive the bmw? close to zero unless at night or weekends. but, i doubt i'll do that maybe once or twice but not always. the jaguar most probably it'll be my main driving car. ;)

so guys, i can drive you guys around a bit now, provided i have the money for petrol. i cant simply tap my dad's speedpass right!

woohoo! alhamdulillah!
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number two.
i sat for the diploma test ytd. it was tiring. worse than lit test or econs test or even history test! though the last time i did a history test was like in sec two. yea. there were only like 5 ladies taking the test and TONS of guys around ranging from 19/20 to as old as 49 i think! or older. still. my dad was the ultimate. it was a test and he even answered a call! HAHAHAHAHHA. and he came in the latest for the test and he just sat anyhow, didnt even check for his seat. HAHAHAH. omg. consperm he hasnt been to school for 2415534 years. :D but it's over now. only practical and i've yet to think of a topic to talk about. ):
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number three.
i went out with faz to look for her book and the pants. eventually bought the book but no pants. HAHAHA. she was rly excited about some stuff!! -shakes eyebrows- and i rly wanna see that much talked about creation of god! woohoo!
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number four.
i had the weirdest dream! the other night, i dreamt i was a poor tiny little type of wild cat (those safari kind) and this tyrannical big brown and black cat (like a jag) was chasing me to my death. i was running for my life for like ever. we then transformed to a human form. apparently, my mum w--- [OMG I FORGOT ALL ABOUT THE KARIPAP AND IT'S LIKE DAMN BLACKENED NOW. ): my mum just scolded me.] where was i. oh yea. apparently my mum was also running everywhere with me. we were running with bars of chocolate! can you believe that?! from willy wonka to cadbury and van houten and mnm's. the chocs kept on dropping but i kept picking them up. some were even torn and chocolate were exposed. ):

then we came to this shopping centre and we decided to run into the tyrant's shop. cos last time when i was younger, i used to always go to his shop and he doted on me. he is my uncle by the way. we tried to push the door open, with what we have cos my hands were filled with bars of chocolates and my mum was carrying some bag, but it wouldnt budge cos there was a big box blocking it so we had to pull it. when we entered we realised: uh-oh wrong place to come. cos the tyrant was there and there was this menacing looking skinny of a man with curling moustache, saying, there's not place to hide now. then we clambered out and tried to open the back door of the neighbouring shop but it wouldnt budge either. so we ran out of the shopping centre door (and still dropping those chocs) and ran into the shop. the shop belonged to my teacher (and i have no idea who).

i hid the chocolates first then tried to hide myself, but i was too late so i just hid behind a teacher's table. the tyrant was a big burly man with bodybuilder built and he was wearing this tight fitting blue top.i was shaking with fright! he was looking for me, my mum was sitting calmly and the matresses with some other people i happen to know and the tyrant boomed, "where is she?! i know she's here! she cant hide from me!" by then i was tearing and sobbing quietly so he cant hear me. he was looking for me behind the table but i managed to hide somehow and he couldnt see me. i was crawling away from him. he said, "i know she's around the table somewhere but why cant i find her!?" he bent down, trying to look for my feet. i tried to jump! but my reaction was slow and he saw my left foot. "AHA! I FOUND YOU! YOU CANT HIDE NOW!" the next moment he towered over me, smiling sinisterly. i aws sobbing so hard! he tugged me up and squeezed my arm really hard, never letting go. i can never forget that evil smile.

"what did i do wrong to you or what did i do terribly wrong in my past life!" i begged him, sobbing really hard. like really hard. and everyone in that shop said it was my fate. "He likes you so much that he hates you." suddenly, we all transformed into cat forms again. the intimidating tyrant of a cat grabbed me by my neck like all other cats do and took me away, away from my mum. nobody saved me. i was sobbing so hard that i woke up, sobbing. there were even little drops of tears in my eyes.

it was a nightmare honestly. i really wonder. can anyone ever like someone so much that he hates her so badly. isn't that being selfish. in this dream, that tyrant was really selfish. he wanted me. kill me or what i dont know. but he was chasing me like a madman. he was roaring with anger and i didnt know why. it's really sad.

what a weird nightmare.
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number five.
i went to the dance concert on 31 may!
the dance was really nice and i like the opening! where dancers came in from all doors. really really great idea. it was a circus! the alumni was excellent! i honestly think so. but one dancer really stood out. her hits were ZOMG SHARP AND FULL OF LIFE AND STRENGTH AND VIGOUR. that's none other than nicole yong! she's a really talented dancer i must say. and firefly was slightly different but still great! :D i loved it! and the kinda slutty dance was beyond slutty (in a good way) and refreshing. sadly though, the guest performers were like limelight. synchronized breakdance? WHOA. really really jawdropping. but all in all it was wonderful to watch them dancers again. (: (: bah. kinda regret a little didnt go back. but all was good! GREAT JOB DANCERS. YOU GUYS REALLY ROCKED THAT STAGE.
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well, that's all for now. i'm gonna have to vacuum already, beore my mum comes back from her dental. i wanna go for a spin today but yet to buy my triangle. i could i forget to buy them ytd! ): ohwells.

going for lunch with twt later. meeting her at central at 2.
ESCAPE! WITH LOVELIES ON TUESDAY! DAMN LOOkING FORWARD TO IT! :D
driving to airport in the wee hours of the morning (ok not rly wee) 4.30? yea. to fetch my grandma. it'll be my first almost-across-the-country drive! :D

love ya guys. (: