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we are all conformists. whether you like it, or not.
i'm supposed to be doing my chinese but i'm procrastinating with blogging and icy tower, and eating keropok after a long time, and assessing the dryness of my face ever since i started using shokubutsu HYDRATING (bullshit) i'm going back to buy garnier, no matter how expensive it is, everything BUT chinese and tut 9 which was last week's tut. dammit.
but you know. it's not really bugging me. but it bugs. OK. and i hate bugs, especially in my room at night. i'm sure a lot of other people too.
sometimes i wish i had all the time in the world to do whatever i want. sometimes i want things to go my way and not sudden changes. maybe i'm not receptive, but i suppose i dont quite like spur of the moment stuff when i thought i had it all planned to the little bits. but when it goes POOF, my heart goes POOF, my mind POOFS too. and then i'll be in a daze. but i dont mind changes when i havent planned things by the minute kind of shit. unless it's minor changes. but really, i really can't stand it.
put it simply, my dad and i are ALMOST ALIKE. he's not receptive to changes at all. we must go in really slowly on him. otherwise he'll just reject it flat. but no, i'm not that hardcore. i would probably just live with the change surpressing inner feelings even if i don't like it, for the better good. initially i won't be able to receive it, but it takes a whole lot of effort to embrace that change and eventually come to terms with it or i'd have to psycho myself that the change was reasonable, good and advantageous.
well, i do a heck lot of psycho-ing. to myself only. that's been happening since, i cant remember when. secondary school?
herrrumpherrum.
anyway, i want to talk to you, but you know my ability to talk and churn out words regarding, is close to zilch. zero. naught. empty. kosong.
but i promise, i've been trying to understand you. (:
oh oh. this is really cliche. but really, i'm sure everyone has said this before in their lives.
"it's not you, it's me."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ok now really, CHINESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
