scream when you have to, to let go

Monday, June 30, 2008

22:22

):

i just read something. sarcastic or not?
gah, it rly sounds disgusting to me la.
i just try to do my best and make lessons interesting enough cos i know malay is potentially boring, but i dont know how man. honestly.
so please darling dearest whoever kind enough to enlighten me with what you think might be boring or interesting to do during malay lessons that you think will have an impact the student's malay language abilities.

sigh. a suggestion by a helpful student online was to do a drama.
GODDDDDDD. it's sounds so simple to do but so difficult to prepare. ive got to get resources, ideas and whatever else.

i'm sure it'll be fun la. i mean i've never done that in my whole entire life. so it'l be refreshing for me.

anyway, i realise, being in an elite school for years have made me feel like a total dork in front of all these students from neighbourhood schools (not that i am degrading them). i mean, i've been surrounded by studious students and competitive students and environment that requires us to excel academically and at the same time aesthetically. BUT, students from neighbourhood schools in a way gain so much more. maybe they are not all brains like nerds or what but they're really street smart and very observant of cultures and behaviours. they know stuff students from elite schools (or "budak baik" schools) are less knowledgable in. they are really open.

i mean come one, one look at me, you know i was that innocent kid who completes most of her work on time though i have the same grouses as every other student in the world. and when school is over it really means over - time to head home baby and watch tv a while then start homework. it just comes naturally like a routine. but others have a life. what life did i have?
just school and purely school.

and due to that, i feel like a total dork. i feel i cant connect with the kids im teaching very well. superficially, it looks ok, i understand how they feel and all (like a potentially boring malay lesson) but there's just something lacking. i have to adjust to their situations and it's hard for me cos my malay lessons have always been fun no matter what we do cos we have great friends sharing that boring/fun/disgusting moment with us..

thus, now, it's making me wonder, school cant be boring can it? and if you have your good friend(s) sitting next to you, my malay lesson cant be boring. i mean doing malay is like just another task to do while enjoying your friends' company.

OH GOD. it's hard.

i dunno. if only my relief students can read this and enlighten me with ideas and thoughts that'll channel through my head and improve their malay lives.
im sorry.

anyway, i actually came to blog about something else and i end up spending 20 min talking about something that came up moments ago.

lunched with faz at delifrance bistro tdy. KELAS! she was telling me stuff. hahahahahhahaha. and somehow, i cant wait for her to find a boyfriend or some guy she really really really really really likes. HAHAHHAHA. i can listen to all her stories! :D and her random thoughts. ((:

lols. and here, im emphasising once again that im NOT a minah and neither do i have "blood" with minah msia. PLEASE.

hakimah is in her own league. *shakes eyebrows*

goodnight guys.

p.s// ive yet to complete that dastard of a presentation and i just gotta prepare some broing lesson for tmr.
DEAR GOD, ENLIGHTEN ME COS ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THE WAY.